Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
