it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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