i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
