I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
