I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize