can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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