Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
