Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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