Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize