i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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