Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
