I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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