The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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