it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
