Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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