while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
