I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
bring money and cleavage
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Im part way to drunk.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
