MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
