I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
