Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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