So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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