Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I want to have your abortion
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
