brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
