Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
COCAINE IS GR8
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize