I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
