So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
