you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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