I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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