i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
