Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I need a burrito and a hug.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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