I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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