My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
