Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
