I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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