there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
