So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
