i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
