Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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