you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
