Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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