guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
