Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
