come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i've created a new STD.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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