im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
