I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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