In the future we'll all be gay
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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