for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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