it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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