I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
