I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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