so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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