Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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