and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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