Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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