what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
