Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
