It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
