just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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