NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
