guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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