peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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