Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
