you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
be right there i have to get my cape
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
