Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
