Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize