we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize