People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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